THIS IS LITERALLY A BLOG POST ABOUT A HOT SAUCE

I literally interrupt my evening at 2:03am to write about a hot sauce. 

So here I am at home, drinking Magnesium to calm me down because I'm an anxious Asian. 

When it dawns on me that I had Greek Yogurt for dinner.

Greek Yogurt is not a meal. 

Fuq that noise. 

I go out searching for a meal: Something with a meat and a carb. 

It's raining. 

I make it to the taco truck parked outside the door of the apartment. 

I GET A TORTA. 

Because guilt and shame are so 2018. 

I only eat tortas like twice a year. 

Because I'm working on my guilt and shame leftover from 2017. 

I go back inside and I'm like: you know what would really next level this shit? HOT SAUCE. 

So there I go pokey pokey in the fridge and come across this fine ass-ho ho ho Merry Christmas of a sauce. ​​

I DJABLO SAUCE?????!?!?!?!??! EXCUSE ME WAIT, FILIPINO DJABLO SAUCE. OH DAMN THIS TORTA IS ABOUT TO BE LIT. 

I do Torta with Djablo and I just start swearing. 

I start swearing. 

Because it is that good. 

Like I'm about to bring this with me to Brunch good. 

Like I regret every meal I ever ate without it good. 

Like I'm drinking Beyonce's blood good. 

Like, guilt and shame aren't even in my encyclopedia brittanica good. 

Like this Torta is my best friend, and this Djablo is my ecstasy lover good. 

Like I was put on this earth to enjoy this hot sauce good. 

Like I can't stop talking about how good it is good. 

"Are you responsible for this hot sauce?" 

I say to Mei Ann (my flat mate) (I used flat mate because this hot sauce makes me feel gotdamn fancy.)

And then she tells me Laura Dadap gave it to her. 

And I'm like "Is Laura Dadap trying to go heaven? Because she is definitely going to get in." 

Y'all cancel my plans. I need to spend more time with this hot sauce. This hot sauce and I need to get acquainted.

​I'm about to be mad at every restaurant that doesn't have it. 

Laura Dadap, I'm pretty sure you're royalty because this Hot Sauce is obviously like a monarchy or whatever and your father is definitely pulling some like Sword in the Stone sorcery with this mess right here. 

Filipino Djablo Hot Sauce and Dadap Family, thank you for gifting our unworthy mouths. We'll do better as a society to meet you, we promise. 

It's 2:25am now. Thank you for this amazing night. I'm ready to turn this hot sauce into a religion. 

(Video of my best friend and ecstasy lover being there for me)

Photos by my flatmate, Mei Ann.