It Just Hurts

The way my magic has been used and thrashed around. 
When I was specifically brought in to protect vulnerability, and yet when I spoke up for my needs, I was pushed aside. Because of other people's Ambition. That outsized the Capacity of Care. That I was under the impression I'd receive. 
I need better care. As an Artist. 
My Art deserves it. 
What was built on my back. 
my heart. 

It just hurts. 

because the industry has a trickle down effect. 
That makes me not want to be here on Planet Earth anymore. 

I don't know where my art belongs.

But I know I am an Artist. 

The pain is: bleak. 

How much Artists suffer behind closed doors to: provide their Art. 

and I speak on it and there's a shunning. 

the shunning can be a homecoming. 

but the homecoming is: isolating. 

I believe in my work. I love my work. Who is going to meet me with the Standards of Care I communicate? Harm was done to my body. I have PTSD from the very platform that makes my work visible. 

Where do I go? 

It's a lonesome and brave road. 

To choose your own healing over "success."