The Industry Almost Killed Me

It's Not Me Who Almost Killed Me. It's The Industry.

SILENCE IS VIOLENCE. 

My body is a MIRACLE. 

My instrument is FUCKING ORGASMIC ORGANIC COSMOS GALAXY. 

I'VE BEEN BLED DRY AND HAVE HAD TO FILL MY OWN CUP WITH LOVE FROM FRIENDS WHO CAME TO PICK ME UP AND UNDERSTOOD WHAT TRUTH TELLING COSTS. 

The artist who makes the most sense to me right now is Yayoi Kusama. The joy of being yourself, YES! Because as far as I'm concerned I think she is in the most direct contact with Passion, God, Her Voice and she is Beholden to Her Calling and not having to work the system, the transactional relationships, the any of the things that make any of the things that can make it feel just so terrifying - 

I feel like we are collectively running a Compassionate Suicide Hotline. The underground necessary care-taking at this time. I feel like many people are doing unwell in Silence and Behind Closed Doors and we are Breeding this Toxic Heartbeat and This Unsustainable Way of Collecting Around One Another that is Going to Lead to People Dropping Like Flies: our most vulnerable. BODIES WILL BREAK. Our most vulnerable. Our Trans Artists. Our Artists who are already severed from Society in Isolation. Where Resources are Scarce and we are forcing them to Mask to Put on a Happy Face for the Universal Smokeshow. We Can Do Better.

The Glorious Miracle is that: I am making work that does not have to be Shiny and Spic and Span and Gorgeous. F*CK THAT. I am making work that is the MIRROR of OUR TIMES. F*cking Punk Rock Vomit. Nirvana. Because if the Men can get up on the stage and Rage Scream. Then so will MY VOICE. And I AM DESERVING OF IT. BECAUSE GRIEF IS ART. AND MY GRIEF IS ART. AND GENERATIONS OF IT IS STORED WITHIN ME. THAT IS THE GIFT OF THE MUSIC I MAKE THAT MOVES PEOPLE. 

I'm not going to wait until a bigger opportunity.
NO. 
I'm not going to Kumbaya.
NO. 
This isn't about: Can't we all just get along? 
We are not All Getting Along. 
We are not ALL GETTING ALONG.
And as Kara Young said: I'm the Maria Abramovic of our Generation and I'll f*cking take it. 

So I'll write about anger, so that it can be cathartic for someone else to read if that means it saves someone's life or causes a wake up call or pushes a needle forward or instigates FUNDING or GALVANIZES SOMETHING. 

GALVANIZES SOMETHING. 
GALVANIZES.
SOMETHING.
GALVANIZES.
SOMETHING.

GRIEF

IS

ART

THE INDUSTRY ALMOST KILLED ME AND IT ALMOST KILLED YOU TOO

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