Society Will Lose What Society Doesn't Value

I set my New Years Resolution as: "TO FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE EVERYDAY" 
 
I think I need to write it LARGE somewhere

because the reminder is something I need 

To remember that 

Survival Mode is

A mode. 

But I'm in it and then I'm out of it and then I'm in it again and that's been how it's been. And I don't know anyone else who isn't battling the same thing.

The Thing Is 

I come home and I want to: cry. 

And I stretch SO MUCH. 

Last night I read about the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington and his relationship with art, music, and the music industry and how fickle his fans were: damned if he did and damned if he didn't: too metal, not metal enough -- you don't start making enough to live by until you break mainstream for an entire team of producers to hold you -- and then you're mainstream, and then the fanbase that you've built up turns on you for breaking mainstream even though you're the same person who's been creating and performing: Bennington had depression and I can imagine it just breaking his heart whenever his fans turned on him: I can imagine the wear and tear on his psyche. I love how open he was about his depression. I'm so excited for when my Blog is found. I love everything I write here. I stand by it. The honesty here. The vulnerability of the 3AM moment that people are too scared to talk about at Parties, in the Lobby of Shows, and the plethora of other things. But this is how I meet with God. 

And I can feel society having a victim-blaming relationship towards Artists: for being who we are. I feel like the "A" in LGBTQIA can stand for "Artists" - we can't deny who we are. And we put up with a lot of Ouchie Shit to fit into Systems that aren't there for us to be true to ourselves. We have to protect our Truth. And also Get Along with Everyone. And also Make Money. And also Hold it Together. And also Be Artistic Geniuses. And also not Bear too Much Weakness that it makes Anyone Worry but Just Enough Weakness that It's Relatable but Not Too Much that it's Uncomfortable and Also Be Charming and Also What it All Comes Down To Is: We Just Want To Make a Living Being True to Ourselves: Being Artists. That's All. If there is a God -- Does the Math Work Out so That Everyone Gets To Make A Living Being True to Themselves -- is it that Simple? 

My Mushroom Brain cannot wrap my head around the Violence of War - I can't believe there are people who sit there and boopdee boop until War....feels like the solution...until...that's it... 

My Mushroom Brain cannot wrap my head around it. And then I'm like right: that's cause Violence happens when we aren't being true to ourselves. This happens around us ALL THE TIME. EVERYWHERE. WE ARE DENIAL NATION. Everyone's fucking scared. 

And then my MUSHROOM BRAIN IS LIKE: FUCK YES, ARTISTS. BE POOR. BAND TOGETHER TO HONOUR YOUR TRUTH -- BUT IT BETTER BE YOUR TRUTH. BE POOR. UNTIL YOU'RE NOT. SO LONG AS YOU ARE HONORING A JOURNEY THAT MAKES SENSE TO YOU. I HAVE AN ORGASM EVERY TIME I SEE AN AUTHENTIC ARTIST GET RICH. SLAVERY DIDN'T F*CKING END, VOGUE DID NOT VOGUE, BARRY DID NOT JENKINS BECAUSE PEOPLE CONTINUED TO GO ALONG WITH THE PROGRAM -- NO, PEOPLE RISKED, AND BANDED THE F*CK TOGETHER. I want to surround myself with the people who believe in what I do and what I have to say. And who will support me thriving in what I do and what I have to say and who are interested in protecting me along the way. Not in me shrinking form but in me paving as I always have since the Day I got here. 

​​I tend to the Underground so people can thrive. You can Join My Sacred Space on Patreon or be Guided by Your Dope North Star.

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